


Somewhere

by Rosales2k



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Flashbacks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26844535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosales2k/pseuds/Rosales2k
Summary: He wasn’t able to feel the same way again, since Mello had sacrificed himself and unknowingly sacrificed Matt, he had felt hurt, and pain in his chest, he wanted to cry at the moment of hearing of his death but couldn’t let his emotions get to him or to let the SPK know.
Relationships: Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be based on a song somewhere by within temptations, song idea from someone from on Twitter, I tried with this one. Also apologize for my poor grammar.
> 
> Anyways this will be reference from a fan game and doujinshi which it may be fillers so hope you enjoy.
> 
> This will be also manga based, so be warned for the brutal part.

Ever since after the Kira case, Near had eaten chocolate as an homage to Mello.

_ Mello _

He wasn’t able to feel the same way again, since Mello had sacrificed himself and unknowingly sacrificed Matt, he had felt hurt, and pain in his chest, he wanted to cry at the moment of hearing of his death but couldn’t let his emotions get to him or to let the SPK know.

Near had taken down Light Yagami or better known as Kira, it was pathetic for Kira to ask the Shinigami to write down all of their names in the Death Note, but the Shinigami, known as Ryuk, had seemly agreed, the SPK and Ls task force try to shoot Ryuk but it was useless since a Shinigami can’t be harm in that way, but once Ryuk had finished written the name in the Death note, he showed it to Kira and he was in shocked on what Ryuk did and he had explained that Light Yagami had lost the game and had said he didn’t want to die but he did anyway with his last words ‘damn it’

After Kira was no longer around, crime had risen and from then on, Near had begun taking cases like L would, before Kira.

As time went on, Near was 21 and he no longer had the childish looks like he had before, he was starting to look more grown but had dark bags under his eyes and his hair was a bit longer.

He had heard there was another Kira but didn’t last too long because this Kira, unlike Light Yagami, regretted on what he had done and had ended his own name in the Death Note and had died of a heart attack, Near decided to call him Cheap Kira or C-Kira.

Near didn’t know why but the words like Kira and the Death Note was a reminder of one particular person.

_ Mello _

He hadn’t stop thinking about him since after the first Kira, maybe that’s why he looked different now, things weren’t the same without him.  


* * *

He was starting to think back his time at the Wammys as his eyes grew heavy from the lack of sleep but still was awake, before hearing of Ls death, the time when Roger had paired him with Mello to work on a project and had to be finished within three days.

Of course Mello didn’t like the fact that they had to work together but he knew it pleased L and Mello knew that.

In those three days, Mello was acting strange, he had kissed him while working on the project in the library, it shocked him and he wasn’t used to be touched but he liked it, Mello had kissed deeper and it was too much for him, he had to pull away from Near to catch his breath, Near was disappointed Mello had stop, but it wasn’t like Near to be like that, he knew this kind of thing wasn’t healthy but Mello always had eyes on him when Mello thought Near didn’t notice while he was working on his puzzle and Mello was just eating chocolate while still looking at him and Near wanted more from him

Perhaps it was an obsession that grew into something like this, Mello had not only kissed him but touched him and he made Near feel good despite on how Near wanted Mello to stop which it was a lie, he didn’t want for Mello to stop, which it turned out to be a bad idea when he was told he got an number wrong and Mello came to confront him about it in Nears room.

Then was told Near liked to be touched like what Mello had did, but then began to said somethings in a mocking tone while smiling and it really pissed Mello off and pushed him on the bed, got on top of him and began to choke him, Near struggled to breathe, but he didn’t stop him.

“I hate you, I hate you so damn much” he said, blamed Near for failing the project and Mello almost cried.

His gripped loosen around his neck and just laid on top of Near, he didn’t move but only heard Mello’s voice, ‘I hate you’ he kept on repeating, until everything was silence.

I...won’t...let...you...stop...hating...me

Near remembered after a month since the project had finished, Mello had kissed when no one was looking, Near knew he was acting like a lover, it was just a game between him and Mello.

Rogers suddenly called them both to the office, Roger had looked nervous some reason, but now he knew why.

L had came to visit, it was a surprise for both Mello and Near and L was the one who had suggested to work on the project and had talked about how black needs white and ended the conversation on ‘L works alone.

Mello had discussed on how they should be together and said he was not going to hurt Near but Near trusted him no matter how painful with Mello’s actions.

Mello had kissed Near passionately, touched him, pleasured him, but Near was the only one was being pleasured, not Mello and could tell he wanted more and wanted to feed Mello his obsession, by becoming one with him.

Near knew how it works but never done it and so did Mello, he prepared him, Near gave a thought that Mello didn’t want to hurt him but could tell by Mello’s face he was starting to lose his mind and told him go ahead.

Mello had entered him, Near was hurting but didn’t want him to stop, Mello pick up the pace and he had found his sweet spot and Near was letting out moans for Mello to hear.

After everything was over, Near knew there is no cure for this poisoned and had said this to Mello and smiled when he said

“I wouldn’t want one if there is”

And the answer satisfied Near.

This kind of relationship Mello and Near had went on until hearing Ls death, Near wouldn’t show it but he was upset as Mello, only he kept his cool as he always did.

Near was even more upset when Mello had said he was leaving Wammys and went to his room after leaving Rogers office, he saw Mello crying, Near had wished he would cry too and sat on the bed where Mello was sitting, Mello had continued to cry until he stopped and pushed him on the bed, Mello wanted to make Near cry but couldn’t.

To get an reaction from Near, Mello had kissed him, touch him and rubbed against him, Mello had always made Near feel human every time he does sexual things to him.

They ended up breaking each other despite learning about Ls death which it felt wrong to be doing things they shouldn’t, Near wasn’t thinking straight at that moment or didn’t seemed to care.

When everything was over, Near had fallen asleep for a moment and Mello was resting, eating chocolate, then woke up to find Mello gone, Near was upset that Mello left, he got up from the bed and head to the bathroom to clean himself up, then he saw something from the bedroom window, a figure exiting from the Wammy through the gate, Near looked closely, it was Mello, Near was even more upset just seeing him leaving, not knowing what had became of him at the time, but Near had a feeling he was going hearing from him again, now that Near was going to take Ls position.

* * *

Near woke up, he hadn’t realized he was asleep, so everything was a dream or just reliving a memory, he didn’t know why he was dreaming that.

He never let go the fact Mello had died, maybe he was still missing him, maybe that’s why he was dreaming his days at Wammys.

_With his dear Mello._

As Near is 27 years old now, his hair grew much longer, still having lack of sleep, grew to not care about some things anymore.

He knew he wasn’t the same as he used to be, he even admit defeat when he heard about A-Kiras plan but what ever happened to him, Near didn’t know or care and just went on with his life as a worlds best detective, just like the original L.

* * *

Nears eyes suddenly grew heavy as he remembers the time, after Near took the position as L which it was the time when Mello was alive and been four years since he’d seen him. Near was glad Mello was okay, joined the mafia which Mello was really determined to defeat him.

When Near heard the warehouse was blown up, he was really worried on wether or not he was alive, he was glad he survived the blast the moment when Mello forced his way to Nears headquarters by threatening Halle, pointing his gun to her head.

Mello only came for the photo which Near kept, reassuring him there is no other copies, Mello had shared the information about the fake rules and the existence of a Shinigami. After that, the race continues.

The meeting didn’t end there, Mello and Near had there secret ‘meetings,’ they would always meet at a hotel no one else knew about, except Rester, he knew about there ‘meetings’ but Near always told him there was nothing about between the two of them and made him to keep quiet about it.

Mello still had an obsession with Near, even though it was just to fill his pride and as always, Near didn’t mind. He was surprised Mello had stayed when Near pleaded for him to do so. Perhaps Mello remembered his 18th birthday on that day and it made Near feel happy.

This kept on going for a while, having their secret ‘meetings’ every chance they get.

Near felt uneasy that day, it was Mello’s birthday, Mello had said something’s that it was going to be his last they celebrate, Near didn’t like what he said but then Mello said

“Stay alive, and I’ll meet you on the other side”

Near did not want to imagine his death, it would cause a lot of pain in his chest.

“I’ll be waiting for you there, Near” He said while holding him from behind to his bare chest, Near would keep his promise that Mello had made him.

When January came, Near assumed Mello had heard his plans from Halle, the plan to reveal that Light Yagami was Kira.

That’s why Mello had came to his headquarters for the last time and the last he’ll ever see Mello alive. They both were having sex, maybe Mello wanted to see Nears expression one last time, when everything was over, they had laid there for about 15 minutes, that’s when Mello said

“Mihael Keehl”

That was it, Mello was gone, forever. Near couldn’t help but to feel regret, for letting him go again, like he did in the Wammys.

* * *

He woke up and once again he didn’t released he had fallen asleep, like he so when he was 21, he was alone in his headquarters and begins to cry. After the hearing Mello’s death and the Kira case ended, he’s been nothing but guilt and regret, he wished he could’ve done something to save both Mello and Matt, it felt like he was the who let them die.

Near didn’t know why he was having those dreams, he liked the one when he was still at Wammys but never the one where he was 18 years old.

He didn’t want to live anymore, but Mello had made sure he would live to catch Kira so in a way he wanted Near to live, so he kept on living for Mello’s sake.

_“Mihael Keehl”_

There was something in that tone the day he last saw Mello, it was like he didn’t want to say his real name but want to say:

_“I...love...you...”_

Near slightly shook his head at the thought, definitely no way Mello would ever say that to him but it felt that way.

He looked at the monitors, watching the news while still playing with his toys, he still kept the finger puppets of both Mello and Near, it was the only image he have of Mello since he gave away the photo.

Near thought at the moment, Mello was still alive in his dreams and memories, he would consider getting more sleep just to see him again and in a way he’s still is searching for him while he’s asleep because there are nights where he doesn’t appear in his dream.

He’ll keep on living just like Mello had wanted.

Until his dying day.

**Author's Note:**

> I have some great ideas but I suck at writing this, though there are times I wonder what’s been going on in Nears mind so I guess it what made me write this.


End file.
